Captain Buttonhole
Position:
Official mascot. World’s greatest master of Geekjitsu. Legend in his own time.
Games:
I play an enormous amount of excellent games, but they are mainly ones most people don’t even know exist (due to ignorance).
Movies:
I quite enjoy watching Bruce Lee films, mainly because I was the one who taught him all the moves he used. I swore never to tell anyone that, but he’s been dead for ages now, so f*#k him.
My rear end has appeared in numerous movies too. Any time a big star (like Brad Pitt, for instance) has a role where they have to show their naked buttocks, I get payed a fortune to be brought in as a “butt double”. It is very likely you’ve unknowingly seen my gorgeous exposed cheeks on screen more than once.
My list of favourite films is extraordinarily extensive, since I know everything there is to know about every movie ever made.
Music (bands, singers etc):
Music is yet another topic I know far more about than anybody else. I like some Jimi Hendrix albums – “Electric Ladyland” is probably my favourite. Hendrix was left handed, like me, so that made it a bit easier for me to teach him how to play guitar. It was a shame he died so young, as he was a pretty good student & there was so much more I could have taught him.
Speaking of dead people, Luciano Pavarotti croaked recently. He was a nice fellow and he really knew about good food, so I always had fun eating with him. In fact, because the meals he provided me with were always so tasty, I only charged him half of my usual fee, for all the singing lessons I gave him.
I just remembered another dead guy: Elvis Presley. He used to seek advice from me all the time, mainly regarding fashion. I got sick of him after a while though, so I actually convinced him (just to make myself laugh) that it’d be an excellent look for him to get really fat and perform in garish jumpsuits.
One band I am big fan of is the one I do vocals for - a 9 piece rock group called "Beer Belly Joan and the High Flying Canastas". No one would have heard our music though, as we never have, and never will, released any albums or performed live. That’s because we are so awesome that, if our sounds entered the ears of a regular human, their brain would not be able to comprehend such otherworldly majesty. Most likely, their heads would explode and that sort of outcome is just too messy to be worth the trouble.
Wrestlers:
I like Japanese wrestlers (Akira Maeda, Jushin Liger and The Great Muta/Keji Mutoh, for example) the most. I spent many years doing wrestling training in Japan (wrestling is just one of the many disciplines that make up the art of Geekjitsu). I also like Mexican wrestlers, as they wear masks, like me. “Stone Cold” Steve Austin is okay, since he drinks a lot of beer and that means he should be admired. Otherwise I don’t like many American wrestlers. It is nothing personal, but I find Americans annoying, because most of them are idiots.
Comic characters or books and/or cartoons:
I love to read most comics about superheros, due to how much they remind me of myself. In fact, if Batman was a bit smarter and more skilled at hand to hand combat, I’d swear Bob Kane based the character on me.
Authors and/or Books:
There is only one book that matters (presented to me by my Sensei) – “Geekjitsu: In One Hundred and Fourteen Uneasy Steps”.
Foods:
I like all kinds of meat and particularly enjoy the taste of vegetarians.
Drinks:
In accordance with the Geekjitsu code, the only beverage I consume is beer.
Heroes (people I admire):
There are only two people in existence who I admire - Master Shigaka (my sensei) and myself.
Villains (people I dislike):
Most of my enemies know who they are, as I have already given them a severe beating they shall never forget. The rest of them will find out before too long.
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