On with the show, this is it!
Mon, 9 January 2006
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I know it is a touch late of me, but Happy New Year to everyone. A quick word of warning- I'm going to do a much longer & more detailed Editorial than usual here. It'll be way more of a personal one too. Fear not, I don't intend to make a habit of this. For one thing, it is unlikely to be all that relevant to most of you. Plus, I doubt I'd really want to write 'em this way most of the time; it is supposed to be an Editorial column for Buttonhole, not my personal "blog". I just felt like doing it this way for the first one of the New Year, as a way to sorta mark the occasion. If it bores you to tears, feel free to just skim through it (or ignore it completely).
For me, the year 2005 was a strange mix of good and bad. I think every year is bound to be that way, to a degree. This one was just more extreme.
Most prominently (again, I'm speaking for myself here) on the downside, I had constant health problems and, unfortunately, that doesn't look set to ease off or change any time soon. Usually in the past my Crohn's disease will give me a break or two, of at least a couple of months here and there. But, for the past 12 to 14 months, it just hasn't let up for more than a few days in a row.
At the start of the year I had emergency surgery (with me and operations, they might as well just put a zipper on my guts to save some time), after they perforated my bowel during a "routine" examination (while colonoscopies aren't that unusual to me, since I've probably had- no exaggeration- at least 20 of them, "routine" still seems like an inappropriate way to describe the procedure). So, from that I can now say that I know, for certain, that having a perforated bowel isn't any fun (and it sure doesn't tickle). But I'd really have been far happier to be left just assuming that was the case. Anyway, that really set the tone for what I had in store, in terms of my health, during the days, weeks & months that followed.
Crohn's is a weird illness; I know, or have met, people with it who rarely have any trouble at all and others who are in a worse way than me, with terrible pain all the damn time. It seems to effect people differently, to the extent that you wonder if we even have the same affliction.
More recently, I have been having all sorts of strange mental problems. I was diagnosed several years ago as clinically depressed, so mood swings are something I've grown fairly accustomed to. I have always been a bit of a nut, but generally these days it is not in a negative way. I guess I'm more what is commonly, or politely, described as eccentric (indeed, people have often called me just that). Lately though, I have been freaking out for no real reason; paranoia, anxiety attacks and just feeling really odd and unhappy. One of the worst things about it was that I couldn't even summon any enthusiasm to write anything for Buttonhole. Every time I tried, it felt forced & resembled a chore. As this is usually something I love more than just about anything and consider a great deal of fun, such a feeling was most disconcerting. I couldn't understand it, because I really tend to be able to handle my chemically imbalanced brain quite well and stay pretty happy most of the time.
Then I remembered that one of my medications can do that to me, as it has done several times in the past. I just forgot how severe it could be, because it has been a few years since I've needed to remain on such a high dose for this long a period. It was actually a relief to figure out what was going on. That's the nature of this beast- if it isn't the illness itself f*cking you up, it'll be the side effects of the drugs. The main thing is though, I know how to handle it, now that I'm aware of what I'm dealing with. So, I should now be able to get back to enjoying Buttonhole fully, being my easy going self & having all sorts of geeky fun. Phew, that's a relief!
Of course, I wasn't the only one last year who had problems to deal with. Obviously there were all kinds of heavy things going on, all around this planet of ours (stuff that is surely far more imposing than anything most of us have to worry about), you only need to have watched the news or read the papers every so often to be aware of that. But I am referring to matters of a more personal nature.
Some of my relatives and close mates (including some fellow Buttonholers) also had serious problematic issues and setbacks of various kinds to contend with. Actually, a couple of them were extremely similar to those emotional type difficulties I was just talking about. It is never pleasant to see people you know and care for suffering. I truly hope things go more smoothly for them (us!) this year than they did in the last one.
There are plenty of other crappy things I could go on about, but it is best not to dwell too much on such matters. I will say though, something that hit the wrestling fans amongst us hard in '05 was the death of Eddie Guerrero. I remember saying on the Forums earlier in the year (months before his tragic passing) that he was in the top five of my favourite wrestlers of all time. That's how highly I regarded him as a performer. I also just flat-out liked the guy. I mean, I never actually met him, but I felt like I knew him. So that sucked a big fat one, especially after he fought so hard to get clean and back on the right path. Still, the grief us wrasslin' fans felt must be nothing compared that of Guerrero's family and friends.
For things I can bitch about from the previous year, I'll end it with this (less serious) one: Tom Cruise. I'd pay good money to see The Gimmick piledrive that douche through the Spanish announcers' table.
So, yeah, all of that shit was a total drag. On the flipside, however, numerous things took place this year that would easily rank as some of the greatest and most highly pleasurable things I've experienced in my entire 29 (and counting) years of existence. And I'm not talking about any sexual exploits (though I probably would, if I'd had any of much note to recall of late).
Let's see here... well, for starters there was plenty of the big L going around. That's right- love. Love is all you need, as some pommies once sang. Mind you, it is much easier to say something like that when you're stinking rich and have plenty to eat and drink. Nevertheless, love is wonderful thing, I wouldn't argue with that.
There were betrothals and the like aplenty. Two that immediately come to mind: Stewart, a very good friend of mine, married a super cool chick known as Belinda. And Buttonhole's Assistant Editor, Lead Software Developer and Tech Support (aka "the guy with lots of titles") Special K got engaged to Madame Hooplah, who you just know is a rockin' person, since she's my sister. Their wedding will be taking place on the 5th of May.
To go along with the wedding bells and lovey dovey atmosphere, quite a few of my acquaintances started popping out the squids (in other words, having kids). Michelle and Milan (and their respective partners) were the first two cabs off that rank. The most recent additions to the new parents brigade were Buttonhole's very own (nobody else would have him) Mugwai & his beautiful wife Miss. We'll have to get their baby Declan to do some reviews, maybe about which nappies he likes the best, or something like that.
There were so many other cool things that happened to me and those around me in 2005 that I could go on all night (and some might say I already have). The most obvious one, and the one that I've gotten the biggest kick out of personally, is of course this website: the mighty Buttonhole! We officially launched in January '05, so this month marks our first anniversary.
That really means that for 2005 the good did outweigh the bad in my life, because Buttonhole would have to be about the best thing I could ask for. Thanks again to everyone who helped make it happen. We've grown so much so quickly that it never ceases to amaze me. As far as I'm concerned, it has been an absolute blast. As killer as our first year was, I reckon our second is set to be even better. And that gets me so excited...they'll probably make it illegal soon. Rock on, baby! Woooo!
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More articles by Hillelman
For the year of 2005: Top score for the crappy stuff & ( more importantly) top score for the good stuff.