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GamelogoBy Australian Ninja

Remnants & Relics. Buttonhole *Special* Feature

Welcome dear reader to Remnants & Relics, the first in an ongoing series of features looking back at various aspects of yesterday's video games. This series is one that I'd hoped to kick off many months ago, but I just haven't had the time to do it justice, until now. So consider this your opportunity to put on your best pair or rose-tinted glasses, open up a luke-warm can of clichés and prepare to hop aboard the way-back-machine.... It came from beyond two dimensions! -A Look Back at Isometric Gaming-

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ToonlogoBy Australian Ninja

ACMI Day Tripper

Welcome Buttonhole readers to another feature that is so choc-full of goodness that I've divided it into several sections. The top half is about the Indy video games showcased at ACMI. The bottom half is about the Pixar exhibit. It's ridiculously long and all terribly interesting to read, so you may as well read it in two halves, or just the parts that interest you. After reading about the ACMI exhibits on their website and getting more than a little excited, I decided to make the perilous trek to inner Melbourne. With time on my side and money stuffed in my pocket I ventured forth to the train station. Once on board I passed the time by staring out the window, reading a volume of Dark Horse's Concrete and snacking on tasty fruit. Arriving at Flinders St, I wandered around until inevitably finding my way out of the rat-maze like station.

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ToonlogoBy Australian Ninja

Classic Comic-book Review. Kraven's Last Hunt

"Here lies Spider-Man - Slain by the Hunter" So reads the grave of one of histories greatest superheros. "But he's not dead, is he? What happened to everyone's favourite web-slinger? Spidey seems to be alive and well now, what with his three movie deal and a string of monthly Marvel comic-book titles to his name, so why was he buried six feet under? The year is 1987. The company is Marvel. The character is Sergei Kravinov also known as 'Kraven the Hunter.' Back in the 60's Stan and Steve (Lee and Ditko, respectively) churned out a heap of cool villains for the title "Amazing Spider-Man." Doctor Octopus, The Cham

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Nick Hardcastle Album Cover Nick Hardcastle - self titled debut album

Who is Nick Hardcastle and who told him he was talented?

Publisher: Shock

Fri, 14 July 2006

Kris Mii by: Special K

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"It's just a four-letter word baby how does it hurt?" asks Nick Hardcastle: that four-letter word is "shit" and I can tell you that it hurts like a bastard listening to this generic pop drivel. I guess I was left asking who is Nick Hardcastle? A friend of Dirk Digglers perhaps? Judging by the photos on the album cover he's worked extensively as a Big W catalog model and like Derek Zoolander he has perfected his own brand of "Blue Steel" look. As it turns out he's on an ABC Childrens show titled "Creature Features". Now I get the picture. Struggling actor, ends up on kids show, wants to make it big. Decides that if Hi-Five can do it why can't he and hooks up to record an album. Australian Idol you have a lot to answer for!

OK lets get ready for a blow by blow run down on this big steaming turd of an album!

The album opens with the single 4 letter word. We've already discussed this track in the opening paragraph. Nothing more needs to be said. Nextů

State of Mind - (Oooooh Aaaaah, Oooooh Aaaaah). Deep isn't it? Listening to this makes me wish my state of mind was in a coma.

Why? (Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah) Rather appropriate because that's what I keep asking myself when I think about voluntarily telling Sammy that I would review this CD.

Nick Hardcastle - Dickhead
I do believe he's serious folks!
Infatuated (Ooooh, Ooooh, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah) This song sounds like Nick having to cope with his groupies. I'll quote a couple of lines from the song and include a translation afterwards "Coz you're infatuated, uneducated" (You're as dumb as dog shit, leave me alone) "You're infatuated, I'm celebrated" (My ego is way too big how could I like someone like you?) I'm assuming this song is showing Nick's sensitive side after another fulfilling one-night stand with his beer goggles on.

This song is titled Deep. Deep like how far I want to bury a sledgehammer in Nick's skull. When there are lines like "Used to fall in love every Saturday night. On Monday I know, I'd let them go. I'm orbiting you like a satellite. Cos you're one I could keep for the rest of the week". Great wholesome stuff for the kiddies! And this little gem "Well I'm at your door, ready to explore. Where do I start to lubricate your heart?" Real slick Nick! Real slick!

Every Day - Can't really comment on this one because I was trying to ignore it while I was writing this review.

On my Way to You - Nick gets top billing on the writing credits on this one. Opening line - "All I can explain is that all my words don't mean a thing". Nuff said.

Happy Together - Yes Nick covers a song where he talks about loving one person for the rest of his life. Stark contrast to the just wanted to root you songs earlier on the album.

I Can Feel It - and if I'm not mistaken it's an aneurism or my brain rotting.

Hangin Around - From the closing lines I assume this is lamenting over when he doesn't pick up on a Saturday night. "I get so mad when nothing comes my way I guess I'll have to make something from nothing".
Nick Hardcastle Dancing
Nick looking like a real tosser!

Another Day - I'm bored and frustrated. Pulling out my own teeth with no anaesthetic and a pair of pliers would be less painful than listening to this track.

Good Time - This reminds me of Kevin Bloody Wilson. "Would you be so kind as to show me where to go? I'm lookin for a good time. I got one thing on my mind yeah I really need to know I'm lookin for a good time." Kev's song is a bit more eloquent though "Do you f*&k on first dates? Does your dad own a brewery? Can I feel your tits? Or will you show 'em to me?"

Come with me - this is officially the last track on the album because the final track "Great Adventure" is classed as a Bonus Track. It's laughable to think that anything on this album could be considered a bonus.

In summary I think the fact that iTunes couldn't find the track listing for this album is testament to Nick's status as a performer. He really has an ordinary voice and I can't see this effort propelling him into the spotlight. Don't give up your day job Nick, I've heard walruses mating that sound better than this tripe!

by: Special K

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More articles by Special K

Coming to a landfill near you. Note this score reflects the average age of his target audience not the quality of the record (that would be closer to zero)

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More Music

Braindead Lovers
Southern Culture on the Skids - Double Wide and Live
True Live - The Shape Of It
Po' Girl - Home To Me. CD Review
Mekon Presents - Something Came Up. CD Review

Where are you most likely to get information about your favourite music?
The internet
The radio
TV Music Channels and/or shows
Friends at work or school

ToonlogoBy Borgieman

Manifest '07 Report

Ninja's note: Once again, it's time for another Buttonhole report on the Melbourne Anime Festival, otherwise known as Manifest 2007. If you missed Ichibod's feature on a previous Manifest, check it out here. This Manifest coverage comes to you courtesy of forum regular and newest Buttonhole contributor Borgieman, a cool guy who knows his Anime and has been known to play a video game or two. So read on true believers! A Day at Manifest 2007

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ToonlogoBy Australian Ninja

Only Yesterday. Anime Review

The problem with having favourite films is that every time I watch another Studio Ghibli film it becomes my new favourite. It kind of renders the word 'favourite' meaningless when every Studio Ghibli film takes my breath away. Still, I can't complain about being thoroughly entertained by this whimsical and insightful film, "Only Yesterday". This gem was directed by Isao Takahata, well known for his anime film Grave of the Fireflies. Although Only Yesterday is a light hearted film that ambles along at a leisurely pace, it still manages to explore themes such as love, work, family relationship struggles, following your dreams and country versus city living. In the film, the main character Taeko decides to take a working vacation in the country, getting away from her office bound job and unexpectedly starts t

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ToonlogoBy Jason

Speed Grapher V1. Anime Review

Well, "I don't like it" was my initial feeling when viewing this Anime for the first time. Subsequent viewings haven't changed my views a great deal. Nothing really stands out as being absolute shit but it seems that this series tries too hard. It's almost like they were more interested in creating something 'edgy' and confronting but sadly forgot to include an even remotely palatable story. The hero of this particular piece is a bloke called Tatsumi Saiga. Tatsumi is a photographer and a veteran war journalist for whom taking photos has become somewhat of a fetish. Although he seems to have become jaded - nothing is worth wasting his film on - that is, at least until he stumbles across an exclusive club for the mega rich

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