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GamelogoBy Australian Ninja

Remnants & Relics. Buttonhole *Special* Feature

Welcome dear reader to Remnants & Relics, the first in an ongoing series of features looking back at various aspects of yesterday's video games. This series is one that I'd hoped to kick off many months ago, but I just haven't had the time to do it justice, until now. So consider this your opportunity to put on your best pair or rose-tinted glasses, open up a luke-warm can of clichés and prepare to hop aboard the way-back-machine.... It came from beyond two dimensions! -A Look Back at Isometric Gaming-

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ToonlogoBy Australian Ninja

ACMI Day Tripper

Welcome Buttonhole readers to another feature that is so choc-full of goodness that I've divided it into several sections. The top half is about the Indy video games showcased at ACMI. The bottom half is about the Pixar exhibit. It's ridiculously long and all terribly interesting to read, so you may as well read it in two halves, or just the parts that interest you. After reading about the ACMI exhibits on their website and getting more than a little excited, I decided to make the perilous trek to inner Melbourne. With time on my side and money stuffed in my pocket I ventured forth to the train station. Once on board I passed the time by staring out the window, reading a volume of Dark Horse's Concrete and snacking on tasty fruit. Arriving at Flinders St, I wandered around until inevitably finding my way out of the rat-maze like station.

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ToonlogoBy Australian Ninja

Classic Comic-book Review. Kraven's Last Hunt

"Here lies Spider-Man - Slain by the Hunter" So reads the grave of one of histories greatest superheros. "But he's not dead, is he? What happened to everyone's favourite web-slinger? Spidey seems to be alive and well now, what with his three movie deal and a string of monthly Marvel comic-book titles to his name, so why was he buried six feet under? The year is 1987. The company is Marvel. The character is Sergei Kravinov also known as 'Kraven the Hunter.' Back in the 60's Stan and Steve (Lee and Ditko, respectively) churned out a heap of cool villains for the title "Amazing Spider-Man." Doctor Octopus, The Cham

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Hoff second CD cover David Hasselhoff Sings America. CD Review

Ninja sings Australia, while taking the high road

Publisher: Shock Records

Fri, 25 August 2006

Aussie_N6 by: Australian Ninja

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Good old Mitch Baywatch. A few months back The Gimmick reviewed one of his albums. He proved so popular at Buttonhole, we just couldn't resist having him back again for another round.

Perhaps you think I am exaggerating with my claims, but I can assure you that after thousands of emails requesting further coverage of The Hoff's musical genius, I felt that it was up to me to review this album and take a bullet for the team.

David Hastlehoff - The Hoff, Mitch Baywatch, Mr Knight Rider, the man with more hair on his chest than most people have on their heads. The manly mans' man of manliness. He's big in Germany they say. But who are 'they' and do we really trust what 'they' have to say?

Hoff second CD pic 1
You my hate him, or laugh at him, for this...
Some people are so tragically ludicrous, that every time I think of them I laugh a little. Chuck Norris, Mr T, The Hoff. Maybe they think we are laughing with them but, for the record, mostly we are laughing at them.

For everyone expecting me to tear down the Hoff, this is the part where I admit that the dude actually can sing, and he can sing well. In fact, I found the album enjoyable and couldn't help but sing along to some of the songs. Two in particular had me singing in my best off key voice; Neil Diamond's "Forever in Blue Jeans" and the Beach Boys' "California Girls."

Going back to the album title, The Hoff Sings America - we are left wondering what [if anything] that means. How exactly does one sing America? I guess the title is referring to the fact the album features Hasselhoff doing covers of popular American songs. Rhinestone Cowboy, New York New York, Amazing Grace and others.

At this point you may be cringing in your seat, wondering if I have brain damage for volunteering to review this CD. To that I say, "Balat sim neefarkle." Or roughly translated: "Dad, why do I have to wear a dead man's nose?"

Truthfully, the songs on this album will appeal more to an older audience than Buttonhole usually attracts. I mean this album fits in well with a bit of Frank Sinatra, some Dean Martin, the kind of music that plays well in the background when friends are over for dinner. But really music is for anyone that enjoys it. It's just that a lot of people wouldn't give The Hoff CD a go, on name alone.

I remember Sammy saying something about the Hoffmeister being able to sing alright, its just that other people have sung these songs better than him, so why would you bother? I tend to agree with that, but that didn't stop me from enjoying the album. Sammy's note: I did indeed say that. However, any suggestions that Hoff belongs in the likes of Frank Sinatra's league as a vocal performer...I'm afraid I'd have to leave you on your own with that one, Mr. Ninja!

Inside the little book that comes with the CD is a personal message from the Hoff himself that ends with:

"Believe in yourself,
keep a positive attitude
and NEVER give up!
Dreams do come true!"

As cheesy as that message is, he seems sincere in saying it and I can't help but respect his point of view.
Given the opportunity, I'll bitch on about anything until you tell me to zip it [like the Gippsland public transport system, what a bloody joke].
But I won't outright attack something or someone for no good reason.

Plenty of other people already take the piss out the Hoff, including himself. A couple of examples of this come from movies he's had cameos in: In Dodgdeball he can be seen as the angry coach for the German team. In the Spongebob Squarepants movie, Spongebob rides on the Hoff's back as he soars through the ocean like a speedboat. As this goes on, a major fight scene erupts - on the Hoff's hairy back. Its pants wettingly hilarious and proof to me that the guy doesn't take himself too seriously, so why shouldn't think he expect us to either.

Hoff second CD pic 2
But we can also thank him for this!
Frankly, any guy that can assemble a team of super hot women to run up and down beaches in slow motion while wearing revealing swimsuits - and keep that schtick going for a number of years - gets a salute from me.

Baywatch had no real plot or acting, so it was carried by, yes, the boobies. Admit it, that's the only reason anyone watched it! All that running up and down in slow motion, if at some point they had a British guest star he could have said: "Ere, you'll have someone's eye out with those luv."

Whether you love the Hoff, hate the Hoff, want to go fishing with the Hoff, or you're still thinking about the Baywatch boobies from the previous paragraph - why not stop by the Forums and give your two cents.

What else can I say? The music is alright. I'm still waiting for something truly terrible, that I can really bag, to come along for review, so I can. Quality singing of popular songs that other people have already sung better; that's David Hasselhoff Sings America, in a nutshell.

by: Australian Ninja

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More articles by Australian Ninja

Like him or not, the man can sing.

SmartArtist Web Hosting

More Music

Braindead Lovers
Southern Culture on the Skids - Double Wide and Live
True Live - The Shape Of It
Po' Girl - Home To Me. CD Review
Mekon Presents - Something Came Up. CD Review

Where are you most likely to get information about your favourite music?
The internet
The radio
TV Music Channels and/or shows
Friends at work or school

ToonlogoBy Borgieman

Manifest '07 Report

Ninja's note: Once again, it's time for another Buttonhole report on the Melbourne Anime Festival, otherwise known as Manifest 2007. If you missed Ichibod's feature on a previous Manifest, check it out here. This Manifest coverage comes to you courtesy of forum regular and newest Buttonhole contributor Borgieman, a cool guy who knows his Anime and has been known to play a video game or two. So read on true believers! A Day at Manifest 2007

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ToonlogoBy Australian Ninja

Only Yesterday. Anime Review

The problem with having favourite films is that every time I watch another Studio Ghibli film it becomes my new favourite. It kind of renders the word 'favourite' meaningless when every Studio Ghibli film takes my breath away. Still, I can't complain about being thoroughly entertained by this whimsical and insightful film, "Only Yesterday". This gem was directed by Isao Takahata, well known for his anime film Grave of the Fireflies. Although Only Yesterday is a light hearted film that ambles along at a leisurely pace, it still manages to explore themes such as love, work, family relationship struggles, following your dreams and country versus city living. In the film, the main character Taeko decides to take a working vacation in the country, getting away from her office bound job and unexpectedly starts t

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ToonlogoBy Jason

Speed Grapher V1. Anime Review

Well, "I don't like it" was my initial feeling when viewing this Anime for the first time. Subsequent viewings haven't changed my views a great deal. Nothing really stands out as being absolute shit but it seems that this series tries too hard. It's almost like they were more interested in creating something 'edgy' and confronting but sadly forgot to include an even remotely palatable story. The hero of this particular piece is a bloke called Tatsumi Saiga. Tatsumi is a photographer and a veteran war journalist for whom taking photos has become somewhat of a fetish. Although he seems to have become jaded - nothing is worth wasting his film on - that is, at least until he stumbles across an exclusive club for the mega rich

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